I’m a Grown Woman

Not only is today’s post dedicated to a song I used to listen to on repeat, it’s also a phrase I use as a response as much as possible. Mondays morning’s are supposed to be pretty bleak, but I’ve received a small burst of motivation and I’m riding this until it collapses. Over the past few months I have been learning to understand reality. Accepting it is a whole other story, but I know ‘adult’ life is not like the picture school paints it to be. On New Year’s Day, I got my first job; as the months have gone by, I have adjusted to the 9 to 5 lifestyle and finally spent time away from my computer stepping into the authenticity of today’s world. At first, I hated working – sixth form made me lazy. Today, I still don’t love it, but learning to channel my frustrated energy somewhere else has been very beneficial.

One thing I still struggle to understand is how everyone else is so ‘okay’ with being in a basic 9 to 5 job and doing the same thing every day, why not strive for more? Sure, having four digits in your savings account is a reason to smile, but what else does the simple routine offer? Thoughts like this are exactly what push and motivate me to seek more over the years I have left. The idea of being in the same positive 40 years from now is nothing short of depressing. I’m still wondering exactly what I want, but I know what I don’t want.

I don’t want to be in an office for the next 40-50 years.

I don’t want my creativity or skills to be restricted. 

I don’t want to be bored all day.

I don’t want someone with a slightly higher paycheque to push me around.

I certainly don’t want to work without a goal.

As we grow up, we begin to realise exactly what we don’t want to do, in contrast to know exactly what we want to do. Throughout school, we’re pushed to chose a career that will make us financially successful because that will mean you’re automatically happy. Getting caught up in wondering what you want is how you forget what you don’t want, you just settle. Don’t put a lid on dreams and goals, let experiences in.