I’ve worked in a 9-to-5 office for a while now, and I finally understand why people opt out of full-time work – it’s exhausting! Although, during my time in the office, I have started to notice a trend throughout each desk – employees can easily become stereotypes. They morph into the kind of characters we see all over television and it seems like programmes like The Office, 30 Rock and The IT Crowd aren’t just for comedic effect, they’re absolutely spot on.
The one who gets a real thrill from making someone laugh, and is unable to tell the difference between a “go away before I punch you” laugh and “I feel sorry for you” laugh. Their jokes are never funny and either consist of inappropriate sexual humour or making fun of others. They have endless amounts of self esteem has the energy to tear down.
The one “worker” who gets away with doing absolutely nothing. When they are given a job, they resort to unloading the task to the next available employee and will infamously visit the in-office kitchen every hour for an hour. They are way too relaxed in the workplace and don’t realise the ream meaning in ‘team player’.
Also known as the boss’ baby. They’re the employee that loves to teach, even though their wage or position is no higher. They believe the office benefits from their (useless) knowledge and love nothing more than spreading their words of wisdom wherever they can. The know-it-all is the first to answer a question and will do absolutely anything to please the manager.
The worker who dreams of fame and fortune but isn’t quite their yet. They spend all day browsing social media and idolising the Insta-famous and Twitter royalty. Everyone does their fair share of social media stalking, but The Wannabe takes it to an extreme and lusts after anyone with a few thousand followers.
An employee who will never refuse to stop talking. The Socialite is either texting, taking phone calls or distracting others with pointless conversation while barely completing a workload. They usually get on very well with The Wannabe and The Slacker and find themselves dragging others into their circle of incompetence.
The Mime is an office worker who never speaks. They’re very quiet and don’t like too much attention thrown their way. The Mime will do their workload in peace and never raise to many questions. Any sort of party or celebration in the favour is the equivalent to a living nightmare. When this worker does speak, they don’t bellow or yell – they’d never want to cause a scene.
This worker is exactly what The Know-It-All wants to be. The Genius was employed due to their impressive grades and amazing ability to learn any skill in no time. Getting the job done is absolutely effortless and they learn much quicker than the average employee. The manager relies on them like a second in command and with very little effort, they never fail to disappoint.