Since actually growing up and working full-time, I have totally and completely become a neat freak. Everything has to be in a specific order for my brain to function and it helps me work much faster and more efficiently. I’m not quite at an OCD level, but if something is out of place, I have to correct it immediately. This perfectionist attitude is something I used to view as a curse, now I see it as a blessing. I can think straight and any feelings of anxiousness are excluded when my mind is on track.
Cutting fake friends
I no longer talk to anyone I considered a friend in school. I’m not suggesting you cut out all your best friends, but as I look back, I’m so happy I didn’t stay stuck in a group of girls who I didn’t really trust or feel happy around. It took a lot of courage to drift away from something that felt familiar and venture out on my own, but I’m so much more confident now. Today, I have a group of friends who accept me for exactly who I am and build me up, rather than make me feel small.
I did kind of enjoy studying, I’m weird like that. But one thing I’ll never forget is how hard I worked in school. Sadly, I didn’t have that attitude in the beginning, but as I grew, I realised it was time to pull my socks up. At the moment, I’m in a job that could sprout into a career for the rest of my life. But if I decide I don’t want to do that any more, I luckily have my positive grades to fall back on. To anyone going through exams or entering a new year in education: work hard, education is a luxury and is worth the struggle.
For me, blogging meant really putting myself out there. I still never take selfies so taking pictures of myself with a professional camera can be a challenge. There are still people who don’t know I have a blog, but it’s not something I’m embarrassed about. I’ve learned a great deal since blogging and realised what I’m truly passionate about. Blogging has given me the time and motivation to understand what kind of person I’d like to grow into which I could never regret.
Changing my wardrobe
Since moving on into a new friendship group and new era of my life, I totally shook up my wardrobe. My attitude towards clothing hasn’t changed, I still don’t allow opinions to influence my dress choices, and I do wear things that make me feel good inside. There are some days where I feel like dressing as if I’m the new girl on the Upper East Side and others when I dress like a true Northern farm chic. But I have realised that abiding to social trends and choice isn’t going to make me happy.
I was the only girl out of my friendship group at school to skip university. I still went through the UCAS process as teachers forced me to, and rather than complain non-stop, I did exactly what was asked for me. But before even getting to that stage, I knew I did not want to go. Still, I was pushed to apply and did so. I received four unconditional offers and one conditional offer, including offers from LCF and UAL. Everyone was ecstatic except me because it’s not what I wanted. So I ignored interviews and skipped open days until the offers ran out in the summer. That decision is one I’ll never regret because I’m very happy blogging from my bedroom and working everyday to learn more through experience rather than books.