“I deserve a treat.”
This is something I say way to often and it’s never true. I could work hard for fifteen minutes and then believe I deserve and enormous glass of white wine. It’s just how the mind works.
“I have nothing to wear.”
She says staring at a closet full of hundreds of items of clothing. For girls, there needs to be a different look for every occasion, or at least they need to feel it’s different. New clothes are always exciting and when we haven’t had any in a while, we slowly conclude you don’t have any at all.
“I’ll never drink again.”
Guilty. A little night on the town could easy turn into an all-night episode of Geordie Shore while doesn’t result in the best feeling the next day. No matter how many times we promise ourselves we will completely abstain from alcohol, the “just one more drink” demon is stronger than estimated.
“I’ll do it later.”
In English: it’s never getting done. Procrastination at it’s finest. This line is the best way to put off a semi-important task that should probably and could probably be done on the spot; yet we still chose to ignore this instinct and place the to-do to the back of our minds, never to be thought of again.
“I have no money.”
This usually means we don’t want to spend any money. It’s the best excuse to get out of a shopping day we know will result in a damaged debit card and a decrease in the current account. I like to have money in the bank, and convincing myself I don’t have anyway is the easiest way to avoid spending it.
“I’m on a diet.”
This lie can occasionally be true, but is quickly broken. Sometimes we can’t resist a tremendous slice of chocolate pudding and the diet is put on the side for a day, or two. The same line also applies to those females who fall into health trends and fads.
“I’m not mad at you.”
Translation: “I’m really mad at you.” It’s the best way to start an argument without really starting an argument. It creates that element of drama which certain girls seem to thrive from. It also creates a talking point and the perfect opportunity for a gossip session.
“I’m almost ready.”
It’s never true. I could say this while still being in bed and claim to be halfway out the door. It’s become more of a reflex rather than a reply. One of the longest running jokes is that girls take forever to get ready, although this isn’t always true, some of us tend to move much slower than others and this little white lie is the finest way to avoid the subject.