Kill Them With Kindness | Journal

I like to consider myself a nice person. When I comment on a blog post with a compliment, or point out a strength in someone – it’s genuine. I hope others think so too. But sometimes it’s really hard to be a nice person. Pressure builds and builds and with nowhere to channel the negativity, it just bursts out and hits the receiver by surprise. Rather than do this, I much prefer the kill ’em with kindness route.

As I keep blabbing on about, I used to work full-time and my boss was basically evil. There’s no sugar-coating it because she didn’t like me and she made sure I knew it. Regardless off this, I tried as hard as I could to keep my cool, and managed it – just about. I would smile when she spoke to me, listen carefully and maintain eye contact (as if I actually cared about what she had to say) and always answered “yes” when she called my name rather than “wut”. Over time, I could actually see that my constant happy personality and kindness towards her even though she couldn’t stand me was irritating her. So I started to do more. That’s when I learned the real meaning of KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS.

I’m not a big fan of the Selena Gomez song, but this is the best advice I have ever received. Haters don’t come around often, so usually I’m unsure with how to deal with it. Sure, it’s normal to have a good cry and vent to someone, but the most effective method I’ve used is a smile. Just a smile. There’s never any need to go overboard, as when someone intentionally tried to hurt you, the last thing they’re expecting is a happy face.

It could be really easy for me to just yell at anyone who has ever upset me, or write a rude comment back (as I’ve actually received some on Anika May). Sometimes commenters don’t like me and want to tell me. Rather than see it as an insult, I take it as an opinion. And in the words of Chipmunk: “Opinions ain’t facts, take ’em in and let them go”. Replace the spite with a smile.

I’m a pretty sarcastic person, so minimising the hate with a smile can be difficult when the smile is almost a smirk and the eyes are squinting so hard it’s a struggle to see. That’s not the kindness I’m talking about. Genuine kindness, letting the words roll off your back, is the ideal way to handle adversity. I’ve done it before, and I’m sure I’ll do it again. Smiling face with smiling eyes 

  • I love what you’re saying here, and I totally agree! 🙂 And who would ever leave you such hate comments you’re so nice.

  • Oh, Anika! I really hope people haven’t been bitchy enough to actually comment about not liking you! That’s so stupid of them!

    But I’m glad you use the “Kill Them with Kindness” method. Reading about your job before, it sounded so horrible. Now knowing how kind you were despite all of that shows how strong you are! I work with all old white men and as the “millennial ethnic girl” as they like to call me, I know how hard it is to hold your tongue and to be kind.



  • I kind of have the same situation with my bosses, only waiting for karma to effing get’m 😉

    lu | coco & louis

  • Killing with kindness is probably one of the best pieces of advice around right now – especially in a time when some people are hell-bent on speaking their mind, no matter how cruel it can be at times! Really sad to hear you’ve received negativity on your blog, though keeping that Chipmunk line in your head seems to have been the way to go 😉

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

  • Bella Pummarola

    Kindness always wins! 🙂 Great post!

    Bella Pummarola

  • Lovely post, like Bella say’s kindness always wins and it’s the best thing to be.

    Lauren x |