When it comes to confidence for me, it’s all internal. I get confidence from a good mindset, what I’m wearing is usually a bonus. I used to think it was all about how you look, what you’re into, how pretty you are, who you’re dating – but even the prettiest humans with the most amazing partners can lack confidence from time to time.
It’s a funny concept to think about, through social media, we see a little window into the lives of people all over the world. It’s a platform that enables users to create a lifestyle that can be showcased to others. Be then there’s the issue of figuring out what’s reality and what’s for show. Trust comes into to question and that’s something really sucky. But back to confidence: there could be someone who seems to have a perfect life, but it’s all through a screen, it’s all through photos. In the real world, they’re broken and low.
SHOP THE COAT
Online, I would consider myself to be a pretty confident person. I always think: “It’s my blog, I can post what I want, when I want, how I want.” But in reality, I can be incredibly insecure and anxiety only amplifies that feeling. I often get sick of not being in love with myself, or being in love with my life – so I decided to take the steps to alter that.
HOW I GAINED CONFIDENCE IN THE REAL WORLD:
TAKING A STEP BACK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA
I took a couple of days away from Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat and Pinterest. The outlets I use the most. They’re great for getting inspiration, but when it comes to my body or physical appearance, I shouldn’t be getting inspo from someone with a completely different build or body-type. It’s just not healthy and could develop into something much more serious.
Taking a little hiatus from social media also helped me to realise I don’t need it to survive. It’s a wonderful way to connect with people and publish creative content, but I can live a life without it so it shouldn’t control mine. I didn’t get any major withdrawal symptoms which is always a brilliant sign.
REALISING MY VALUE
Something that’s always been incredibly difficult for me. I used to almost feel bad for feeling confident, in case it came off as cocky or arrogant. But there’s a line, and I learned the difference. Confidence is being proud of who you are, having the willpower to show the world who you are and knowing what a valuable human being you are.
Cockiness is not only just being a delusional douche, but it’s also having the belief that you’re somehow above everyone else, usually for a superficial reason like money or looks. When I took the time to realise that I’m a living being, I actually do matter and discovered my worth, my confidence shot up.
IGNORING THE CROWD
Following the crowd is such an easy way to live life. It’s like floating along with common opinion, never having to worry about making a decision because it’s already been made for you. Sometimes I do still follow the crowd, but only because I want to. If I don’t want to do something, most of the time I’m not going to do it, no matter how different from the norm it is.
It could be something as little as wearing UGG boots. So many people hate them, but I freaking love them, so I’m going to wear them! My confidence in myself is strong enough not to care about the opinions of others.
Ignoring the crowd has also helped me explore my fashion sense a little more: not just thinking about trends, but focusing on what suits me, my body shape and what I really like. I recently did a post on being a snobby shopper, as I used to only shop in stores other people did, or stores I thought had a better reputation online – now I shop where I want.
SURROUNDING MYSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
When I start to feel low or can feel a spell of anxiety coming on, my instinct was to isolate myself. Escape from the feeling and drown out the noise with music or another activity was always the way to go. Sometimes it still is.
On occasions, there are times when I actually do want to be alone because sometimes I just like my own company, but in other situations, surrounding myself with positive people is the very best medicine. People who can make me smile so much I forget to cover my mouth because I hate the sight of my gums. People who make me laugh so much I actually cry. And people who bring out the best qualities, therefore boosting my confidence.
Plus, it’s really nice to actually speak to human beings, face-to-face, rather than through a text message or via images. That kind of interaction is uplifting for the soul and in turn, positively impacts confidence and self-esteem.
SHOP THE ACCESSORIES
Social media will always be something I adore because it has so much power, and it’s fascinating to me. It’s such a great way to get to know people on the other side of the globe, or see parts of the world that are too expensive to fly to! It’s a great platform for finding the right kind of inspiration, and for building a portfolio of ideas as well as share and promote our talents. It’s easy to have confidence when it comes to a computer or phone screen because it’s not deep. But when it comes to the real world, I like to know I can be the same person online and in life.