It’s so important to smile. It’s so important to try to stay positive. And it’s so important to let go. I’m constantly learning, occasionally failing but mostly learning to be a more forgiving person. To let go of grudges and never let anything dim my sunshine.
In the past, I haven’t been too good at forgiving anyone. In fact, I’m known by my family for holding grudges and cutting people off. Naturally, it’s normal to cut off toxic people, or try to escape the thing that causes pain – but I’ve realised it’s extremely essential to forgive first.
Let’s get one thing straight: forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing misconduct. And it doesn’t always mean becoming best friends with the person who caused harm!
Forgiveness is such a wonderful thing. Even if it means moving on, no longer associating or getting away. Forgiving still has to be done to “seal the deal”. It makes letting go ten million times easier, because it’s not built up inside, it’s not a burden that weighs us down.
Humans get offended incredibly easily. From a simple unfollow to straight up betrayal. It can take years, months, weeks or days but eventually, it’s healthier to let go.
Think about it this way: when we chose to hold a grudge, stay upset about something in the past or chose not to forgive – we let the person who caused harm continue to pour salt in a wound that would have healed a long time ago.
When you’re truly hurt, it’s so hard to forgive, but so worth it. It’s imperative to acknowledge the hurt, don’t feel guilty for being upset or angry because it’s an ordinary human emotion that occurs when someone wrongs us. The vital step is putting out the fire before it burns down the whole forest.
In my mind, grudges = anger. Anger = sadness. Sadness = the worst. Some people have grudges that last a lifetime, and feel is if it’s basically unmanageable to let that go, but the wave of relief that comes from realising an old wrongdoing can’t effect you anymore is like no other. It brings a new layer of internal peace.
We hold grudges because we dwell on past events. But you only ever travel the way you’re looking: look backwards, and that’s the way you’ll go. Being bitter or salty inside about something that hurt a long time ago simply results in bringing those feelings into the next relationship; it creates a feeling of worthlessness and being so wrapped up in something insignificant you miss the present.
Even if it means taking a step back, assessing the situations, finding the root of the pain and asking some difficult personal questions, the gains will forever outweigh the refusal to even try.
It’s very simple – there are no advantages that come with refusing to forgive. However…
THE BENEFITS OF FORGIVING
Less anxiety, stress and hostility
Fewer symptoms of depression or low mood
Better relationships with those around us
A fresh, open and relaxed mind
A kind of peace that helps you move on
Hope, gratitude and joy
Appreciation for those who treat us well
Enjoying each moment the day brings us
Don’t be salty. Salty people never prosper. Forgive, forget & be happy!