The Benefits of Forgiving

The Benefits of Forgiving

It’s so important to smile. It’s so important to try to stay positive. And it’s so important to let go. I’m constantly learning, occasionally failing but mostly learning to be a more forgiving person. To let go of grudges and never let anything dim my sunshine.

In the past, I haven’t been too good at forgiving anyone. In fact, I’m known by my family for holding grudges and cutting people off. Naturally, it’s normal to cut off toxic people, or try to escape the thing that causes pain – but I’ve realised it’s extremely essential to forgive first.

Let’s get one thing straight: forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing misconduct. And it doesn’t always mean becoming best friends with the person who caused harm!

Forgiveness is such a wonderful thing. Even if it means moving on, no longer associating or getting away. Forgiving still has to be done to “seal the deal”. It makes letting go ten million times easier, because it’s not built up inside, it’s not a burden that weighs us down.

Humans get offended incredibly easily. From a simple unfollow to straight up betrayal. It can take years, months, weeks or days but eventually, it’s healthier to let go.

Think about it this way: when we chose to hold a grudge, stay upset about something in the past or chose not to forgive – we let the person who caused harm continue to pour salt in a wound that would have healed a long time ago.

 

When you’re truly hurt, it’s so hard to forgive, but so worth it. It’s imperative to acknowledge the hurt, don’t feel guilty for being upset or angry because it’s an ordinary human emotion that occurs when someone wrongs us. The vital step is putting out the fire before it burns down the whole forest.

In my mind, grudges = anger. Anger = sadness. Sadness = the worst. Some people have grudges that last a lifetime, and feel is if it’s basically unmanageable to let that go, but the wave of relief that comes from realising an old wrongdoing can’t effect you anymore is like no other. It brings a new layer of internal peace.

Anika May // Fashion and Lifestyle Blogger // anikamay.co.ukWe hold grudges because we dwell on past events. But you only ever travel the way you’re looking: look backwards, and that’s the way you’ll go. Being bitter or salty inside about something that hurt a long time ago simply results in bringing those feelings into the next relationship; it creates a feeling of worthlessness and being so wrapped up in something insignificant you miss the present.

Even if it means taking a step back, assessing the situations, finding the root of the pain and asking some difficult personal questions, the gains will forever outweigh the refusal to even try.

It’s very simple – there are no advantages that come with refusing to forgive. However…

THE BENEFITS OF FORGIVING

Improved self-esteem

Improved confidence

Less anxiety, stress and hostility

Fewer symptoms of depression or low mood

Better relationships with those around us

A fresh, open and relaxed mind

A kind of peace that helps you move on

Hope, gratitude and joy

Appreciation for those who treat us well

Enjoying each moment the day brings us

Don’t be salty. Salty people never prosper. Forgive, forget & be happy!

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A xo

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  • well hello there you, i think i just found my favourite new life mantra – ‘dont be salty – salty people never prosper’. i feel like getting this printed and hung up on my wall!

    jokes aside, its SO true. holding onto grudges does absolutely nothing except eat away at you. you always gotta just let it gooooooooo and jump aboard the happy train instead! a much nicer place to be.

    katie. xx lacoconoire.com ♥

    • If you do, let me know where you got it done I totally need one! 😉 definitely with you, it can take time but SO worth it! Thanks so much for reading, Katie xo

  • despite how angry I might be I admit that I always feel better once I forgave! xx
    http://www.bonjourchiara.com

  • Courtney Hardy

    These are good things to keep in mind. My friend always gets angry so this list will be helpful to her.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

    • Yes! Holding onto anger is a no-no xo

  • Atsuna Matsui

    Forgiveness does a lot of good to yourself actually. It’s about letting go of those ill feelings and moving forward by getting closure over past grievances.

    BLOG | YOUTUBE | INSTAGRAM

    • Certainly with you! Thank you so much for reading!! 🙂 xo

  • Rach

    So well said and a good reminder! Thank you Anika for this!

    http://www.rdsobsessions.com

  • This has come at the right time, I’m terrible for holding onto things, but I’m trying to learn to let go and forgive. Thank you for sharing xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush

    • It’s a habit that I’m trying to break to! Thanks so much for reading xo

  • These are some really great tips and so true!

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

  • Shahneela K

    Such a nice post. Forgiveness does lots of good things to us. Thanks for all the tips. xx

  • I truly agree that forgiveness is the best thing 🙂
    Beauty and Fashion Freaks

  • Really great post! I totally agree. Have a great day 🙂

    Gemma x
    http://www.jacquardflower.uk

  • What a lovely post. Forgiving is great for one’s mental health.

    zekalin.com

  • Mahi Chaurasia
  • To truly forgive is easier said than done but once we are able to really let it go, it’s so rewarding. Many wrongly assume that to forgive means we’re weak and too easy to forget, it’s not that. It’s about us and how we move forward with our life without any bitterness. What a well written post, Anika! xx

    Shireen⎜Reflection of Sanity

    • Totally agree! I hate that some see forgiveness as a weakness, it’s one of the biggest strengths a person can have! Thank you so much for reading, Shireen 😚 xo